How can you be HEARD? How can you HELP when they don’t want to hear you? If you want her to hear you, then you must hear her first. Do you want him to see your perspective? You must see his perspective first. Being SEEN and HEARD is important to any relationship that has depth and vitality. When you are speaking with your young adults, and pretty much anyone, DO THIS: be on the lookout for how you validate them. When they know YOU understand their perspective, and it’s a perspective that makes sense, then they will be more open to seeing your perspective. When she’s telling you what she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing… then it’s your turn to explain to HER why it’s understandable that she’s thinking, feeling, and experiencing that. Validation is about showing that, “Hey, considering your experiences, your perspective on life, what you’ve been through, and your values, it makes sense that you are thinking/feeling that way.”
Listen to the podcast to understand what the skill of “validation” is all about. Look for an opportunity to practice this skill in every conversation. The results will surprise you!
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We are Karen and Curtis Herbert, founders of The Catholic Midlife. Our mission is to spark a catholic midlife renewal and help YOU to step into your next season with purpose, hope, and a clear vision for the rest of your life.
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