Do those around you deserve to be treated with compassion?
With compassionate speech, which is kind and sensitive to speak in a manner that is helpful?
With an act of compassion, such as a hug, a hand on the shoulder, or a smile at the right time?
Do they deserve to be encouraged when life is offering them difficulty?
What does it say about you, when you are able to act compassionately?
What about you?
Do you deserve to be treated with compassion?
Do you really deserve to be treated with compassion?
What about you – do you deserve to be treated with compassion by yourself?
You try to be compassionate with others: it’s time that you included yourself in this circle of compassion.
When a friend has gotten knocked down, would you go over and kick them when they are down?
But speaking harshly to ourselves is the norm:
“You are such an idiot”
“I can’t believe you did something so stupid”
“What’s wrong with me to act so ___________”
Here’s the truth: you deserve to be treated with compassion.
Practicing self-compassion will make you stronger, braver, and more successful in almost every area of life. There’s nothing puny about self-compassion.
Today’s podcast episode presented the basics of an exercise that Kristin Neff (the modern founder of the self-compassion movement) calls a “self-compassion break.”
First, be aware of when compassion is needed and acknowledge the moment by saying “This is a difficult moment” or other words that help you hear the compassion. Perhaps if you have an argument in a relationship, you could say “It is very painful to be arguing in this relationship.”
Second, connect what’s happening to the bigger picture of human life and realize that you are not alone when you suffer. Reflect on how others have been and are, suffering. Say true words to yourself, perhaps “Others are suffering from this problem now. Suffering is a normal part of human life.”
Third, ask yourself: “What do I need now?”
This question is powerful. Karen and I will discuss it in the next episode.
If you would like a PDF that you can use to guide yourself through a self-compassion break, email us & we would be happy to send it to you. It’s free!
We would love to see you experiment with this practice!
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