Amanda is a young lady described in a recently published book reviewed in the August 23, 20023 Wall Street Journal. She’s had perfectionism drilled into her, Barbie-style, and she’s internalized it. “Self-directed” perfectionism is the perfectionism that’s directed at yourself; it’s what we normally think of as perfectionism. Amanda has hit all her milestones through her middle-class upbringing: the grades, the extracurriculars, and the great school. And now she has a great job. She’s empty. Why? Answering that question is, in many ways, the point of this podcast. We all know, intellectually, that chasing success can be a trap. Success,...

We take things personally because it cuts to our survival instinct. What’s at stake, in our brains, isn’t “do I get the topping on the ice cream?”;  it’s “ Do I get to eat today?”  Our brains are always looking for threats. We quickly interpret what people say or do as being directed at “me.” If you are trying to bring that virtuous, charitable, wise “you” to the party, it’s so helpful to create some distance and boundaries around the stories you tell yourself. Listen to the podcast for some helpful thoughts! 

Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself?  (Don’t lie!  We all do it)  And it’s easy for those tricky ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts” to start defining your emotions and behaviors.  I should get up earlier.  I should work out.  I should get more sleep.  I shouldn’t complain so much.  I shouldn’t be upset. And what about what others should or shouldn’t do or be?  Find out why this is distorted thinking and how it undermines who you are called to be and what you are called to do.  Let us know how the ‘shoulds’ are showing up for you!