The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
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81 | Scripture never tells you to be Perfect
End your bad habit of “perfect” with us! End it today. “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect is what it says in Matthew 5:48,” right? After all, PERFECT is an English word that we know very well. If it’s perfect then it’s flawless, without defects, and does not make mistakes. That’s modern English. But the word used in Scripture does not mean the same thing as the modern English word “perfect.” The word used in Matthew 5:48 is a form of the Greek word Teleios. It means something more like “grown” or “mature” like an acorn matured into...

80 | Me, My, and Your Perfectionism
Amanda is a young lady described in a recently published book reviewed in the August 23, 20023 Wall Street Journal. She’s had perfectionism drilled into her, Barbie-style, and she’s internalized it. “Self-directed” perfectionism is the perfectionism that’s directed at yourself; it’s what we normally think of as perfectionism. Amanda has hit all her milestones through her middle-class upbringing: the grades, the extracurriculars, and the great school. And now she has a great job. She’s empty. Why? Answering that question is, in many ways, the point of this podcast. We all know, intellectually, that chasing success can be a trap. Success,...

79 | Barbie and you are perfectionists
Barbie, the movie, has something to say about perfectionism. Remember that monologue by Gloria? Gloria was super frustrated with the contradicting and insatiable messages directed to her as a woman that required her to be perfect and to be judged inadequate whenever she fell short. It resonated with many, many women. Perfectionism messages are constantly being directly beamed into you from your environment. Beamed, like Scotty beaming things, OK? That's just one arena of life. Men and women are getting these messages constantly from all over the place in our culture, which is very competitive, often treats us as commodities,...

78 | Don’t take it Personally
We take things personally because it cuts to our survival instinct. What’s at stake, in our brains, isn’t “do I get the topping on the ice cream?”; it’s “ Do I get to eat today?” Our brains are always looking for threats. We quickly interpret what people say or do as being directed at “me.” If you are trying to bring that virtuous, charitable, wise “you” to the party, it’s so helpful to create some distance and boundaries around the stories you tell yourself. Listen to the podcast for some helpful thoughts!

77 | Rumination – It’s a trap!
Ruminating undermines you. We can quickly move from necessary self-reflection into repetitive negative thought patterns that get in the way of growth and problem-solving. Midlifers love to chew on their mistakes and keep turning things over and over. And over and over. Rumination isn’t solving your problems. It's not bringing health and new growth. Instead, it's making things worse. And some good news is: we don't have to do it. We discuss how to know when you are ruminating, why it’s so engaging for our brains, and what some of your options for pushing back could be. We want you...

76 | Thought traps: Tricky Shoulds
Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself? (Don’t lie! We all do it) And it’s easy for those tricky ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts” to start defining your emotions and behaviors. I should get up earlier. I should work out. I should get more sleep. I shouldn’t complain so much. I shouldn’t be upset. And what about what others should or shouldn’t do or be? Find out why this is distorted thinking and how it undermines who you are called to be and what you are called to do. Let us know how the ‘shoulds’ are showing up for you!