The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
The Catholic Midlife Podcast
with Curtis and Karen Herbert
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79 | Barbie and you are perfectionists
Barbie, the movie, has something to say about perfectionism. Remember that monologue by Gloria? Gloria was super frustrated with the contradicting and insatiable messages directed to her as a woman that required her to be perfect and to be judged inadequate whenever she fell short. It resonated with many, many women. Perfectionism messages are constantly being directly beamed into you from your environment. Beamed, like Scotty beaming things, OK? That's just one arena of life. Men and women are getting these messages constantly from all over the place in our culture, which is very competitive, often treats us as commodities,...

78 | Don’t take it Personally
We take things personally because it cuts to our survival instinct. What’s at stake, in our brains, isn’t “do I get the topping on the ice cream?”; it’s “ Do I get to eat today?” Our brains are always looking for threats. We quickly interpret what people say or do as being directed at “me.” If you are trying to bring that virtuous, charitable, wise “you” to the party, it’s so helpful to create some distance and boundaries around the stories you tell yourself. Listen to the podcast for some helpful thoughts!

77 | Rumination – It’s a trap!
Ruminating undermines you. We can quickly move from necessary self-reflection into repetitive negative thought patterns that get in the way of growth and problem-solving. Midlifers love to chew on their mistakes and keep turning things over and over. And over and over. Rumination isn’t solving your problems. It's not bringing health and new growth. Instead, it's making things worse. And some good news is: we don't have to do it. We discuss how to know when you are ruminating, why it’s so engaging for our brains, and what some of your options for pushing back could be. We want you...

76 | Thought traps: Tricky Shoulds
Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself? (Don’t lie! We all do it) And it’s easy for those tricky ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts” to start defining your emotions and behaviors. I should get up earlier. I should work out. I should get more sleep. I shouldn’t complain so much. I shouldn’t be upset. And what about what others should or shouldn’t do or be? Find out why this is distorted thinking and how it undermines who you are called to be and what you are called to do. Let us know how the ‘shoulds’ are showing up for you!

75 | Thought traps: Silly Brain Tricks II
What? More thought traps? Yes, lots more. Hooray. Listen and spot your favorite one to work on this week. These traps derail us or leave us spinning our wheels. The ratio is great but awareness and curiosity are better for spotting and responding to them. We discuss and share examples of some of them, like Personalizing, Blaming, Unfair Comparisons, Regret Orientation, What IFs, Emotional Reasoning, Inability to Disconfirm, and Judgment Focus. Email us about YOUR “favorite” thought trap!

74 | Thought traps: Silly Brain Tricks I
Humans (like you for instance) have some habits of thinking that are traps. We all fall into them, repeatedly. You have to laugh! These traps can shut down our thinking before we realize it, leaving us stuck or making poor choices because the traps often work at an unconscious level. Asking great questions is the key to uncovering thought traps. We discuss and share examples of some of them, like Mind Reading, Fortune-Telling, Catastrophizing, Labeling, Discounting Positives, Negative Filtering, Overgeneralizing, All-or-Nothing Thinking, and the infamous Shoulds. Listen and decide which one is your favorite, so you can work on it...