81 | Scripture never tells you to be Perfect

End your bad habit of “perfect” with us! End it today. “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect is what it says in Matthew 5:48,” right? After all, PERFECT is an English word that we know very well. If it’s perfect then it’s flawless, without defects, and does not make mistakes. That’s modern English.…

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80 | Me, My, and Your Perfectionism

Amanda is a young lady described in a recently published book reviewed in the August 23, 20023 Wall Street Journal. She’s had perfectionism drilled into her, Barbie-style, and she’s internalized it. “Self-directed” perfectionism is the perfectionism that’s directed at yourself; it’s what we normally think of as perfectionism. Amanda has hit all her milestones through…

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79 | Barbie and you are perfectionists

Barbie, the movie, has something to say about perfectionism. Remember that monologue by Gloria? Gloria was super frustrated with the contradicting and insatiable messages directed to her as a woman that required her to be perfect and to be judged inadequate whenever she fell short. It resonated with many, many women. Perfectionism messages are constantly…

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78 | Don’t take it Personally

We take things personally because it cuts to our survival instinct. What’s at stake, in our brains, isn’t “do I get the topping on the ice cream?”;  it’s “ Do I get to eat today?”  Our brains are always looking for threats. We quickly interpret what people say or do as being directed at “me.”…

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77 | Rumination – It’s a trap!

Ruminating undermines you. We can quickly move from necessary self-reflection into repetitive negative thought patterns that get in the way of growth and problem-solving. Midlifers love to chew on their mistakes and keep turning things over and over. And over and over. Rumination isn’t solving your problems. It’s not bringing health and new growth. Instead,…

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